I only got to breifly talk with my older sister today. She forwarded the messages she exchanged with mom earlier today. Part of the reason why I feel sick. That's how mad I am....
I still feel lost. what am I supposed to do right now??? I should probably think about seeing my therapist again. Also I need to remember to make that appointment with the thyroid doctor. >.>
I'm worried about my little brother. I swear my whole family is going to drive me into my grave. They won't even know it. Mom probably won't even fully care.
Alright, I don't know that for sure. I'm just being blindly objectional to anything good come from her, about me. Or any of my siblings for that matter. She was always convinced we were all against her. She even said the freaking counselor was against her. I guess it's hard to take when what you thought you were thinking correctly, all your skitzo life, someone professional tells you that you just might be doing something wrong. Ugh...
I really wish I had a work out buddy. I have friends and stuff. But I just need someone to walk aimlessly with me, like for a whole day. We could make a lame adventure out of it. I can't just up and do this with my friends, but that's because their schedule is just as crazy as mine. We all are security guards. My one roomates schedule is more normal, but she does a bunch of vendor event stuff for things she sells and promotes. So some days we don't know when she'll be home.
So, I'll just aimlessly think about aimlessly wandering about. I need a break. I need a vacation. I need to break something against a wall. I need to excersize or someshit. I need to find my bible. I really do. That used to calm me down and make me feel a little less suicidal when I was living at home.
GRAH!!!
Someone just melt my mind with a laser??? Haha
~Storm out~
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