Hmmmm, I should probably write a post about why I named this blog what I named it....

I think I'll do that some time later. Why? Because, I am a horrible procrastinator and love practically anything that has to do with Japan. How is that a proper explanation? I. Don't. Know. hmmmm, frankly I don't care right now. I never really make sense anyways. I just like to ramble on and about lots of things. What movies I like, things that annoy me, books I like to read, stories I'm thinking about writing, music I like or don't like listening to, my crazy family. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Or so...that's what I'd like you to hear and see. A silly girl who smiles all the time and just likes to ramble on and on and on... But, what you don't get, is that when I'm rambling. Even if my voice is loud and sounds joyful. There are many times, when you never know, that I'm actually saying nothing. All you're hearing are words to attend to your ears, and nothing else. What you're truly hearing, when I do this, is silence.

Emptiness, nothing. No truth, no hidden meanings, just empty words to fill the space. And...if you go deeper, you hear me silently screaming, a shout that you have to look for to hear, and listen for to find. (yes I know those words were arranged in a flip flop like order)

I talk, because I don't want it to be quiet. When the silence comes, that's when the shadows return, the dark part of me that you'll probably never truly see. The part of me that sometimes finds herself crying to sleep. Or the one that will sit in a quiet corner, reading a book or looking like I'm writing something, when I'm really just wishing, begging, over and over again, to die...

Buuuuuuuuuut! Don't get me wrong. I DO like to smile and laugh and sometimes be random just because I know I can make someone else smile. But I'm human, I'm just a simple human. Just like you. I get angry, I'm gonna cry. But...I'm relearning, again and again, to try and find God when things get to hard. Because, any other way, I ain't gonna make it.

I don't know about you... But, this is my blog and for as long as I have freedom of speech I'm going to write what I want and what I believe. I'm sorry if I say things that you (who ever is reading this) might not agree with or find offensive. I'm not trying to be offensive or cause arguements, I'm merely speaking.

Nonetheless, I hope that you at least find reading this blog to be intruiging in some way. Or, just a little bit of something to amuse you for a moment of your time? Either way, I would just like it if someone would at least look at my blog. Or, I will be forced to start my rambling in a way that will make you think that I belong in an insanitarium. mmmmk? yay!

Ah, and here I didn't think I was going to write more than a paragraph or two for the first blog post. Oh well, I don't mind. But, I will be leaving now. So, I shall amuse you all once again!

Good day to you all, 

I am, a God project...

Storm out~